Have you ever wondered if anyone sees you? Like, REALLY sees you? I have. To be honest, though, sometimes I’m simply feeling sorry for myself because we disagreed and so “you just don’t get me.”
But sometimes I feel the dagger go in, like when I’m misunderstood. Or betrayed. Or the victim of an undeserved attack.
Two things can happen when I’m feeling this kind of pain – I shut down, and then I put up a wall. The “shut down” happens when I feel immediate danger, and the walls are for my ongoing protection. And sometimes that’s truly necessary. There will be people who are so toxic that continuing to engage with them would actually be foolish.
This is really hard to tease apart.
Recently I had a conversation with a friend who is walking through an extremely tough time (and has been for a while). After we talked she wrote this:
I am learning that one of the most healing things that can happen in any relationship is to be seen. Being “seen” is so much more than physical sight. It shows value, importance, and acknowledgment. Being “seen” brings life, validation, energy and motivation! Being seen means feeling authentically known, understood and valued.
I agree.
But if I shut down and build a wall against everyone … how can I expect you to see me? If I’m a closed book, too fearful to risk being vulnerable ever again, I never give you the chance to see the “real” me. Dangerous, that – could it possibly be worth the risk?
We must have boundaries, but it’s better to build fences (with gates) than walls.
We have to be careful not to just fight with one another when we should be fighting to understand each other.
And I actually think “DOES ANYONE SEE ME?” is the wrong question.
This. This is the right one. Because we never ever have to build walls (or even fences) to protect us from God – He DOES SEE US.
In fact, one of the many names for God is El ROI – which means “the God who sees.” Psalm 139 says this:
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
I absolutely cannot wonder if God sees me. When I did a quick search of the Bible on this topic SO MANY verses came up (try it)! Once we really really get that, THEN we can talk about being seen by other people. If we don’t start there, we may end up fighting just to fight instead of fighting to understand each other.
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
My friend went on to say, “healing has not come from my questions being answered, but in being seen by those around me who love me, and the One who loved me enough to die for me.”
Speaking of love …
There is no greater love than to lay one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13)
May we never forget.
Love,
~Angie
Beautiful thoughts, Angie! I love that there were so many verses about being seen by God. His seeing and understanding is what matters most of all. And you are so right that from there is how we can see each other. He will give us His perspective when we ask. Thank you for sharing your and your friends’s thoughts. Blessings and love dear friend.
Thank you Bettie – so grateful for the God who SEES!
Amen. My heart cries when I see the world and I realize, I too, have made so many wrong moves in the lives of others. The name of the Lord is a strong tower and he that runneth into it is safe. When I am in His tower you can kick me all you want but it doesn’t hurt. The problem is, I am often outside the tower and my human pride kicks in and I am trying to protect myself by bitter words or actions. No good. Never works. So I have to humbly admit I was outside again and I have to run back to the arms of Jesus.
A good post, Angie. Showing yourself vulnerable is admirable and God wuill surely bless you for it.