Almost twenty seven years ago I married this man. We
promised for better or for worse, til death do us part, not having a clue
what that really meant.
Like every married couple, we’ve had our ups and downs, but during the last seven years he’s mostly gotten the “worse.” Surgery after surgery, migraine after migraine, seizure after seizure,
trips to the emergency room, unexpected hospital stays.
Obviously this has not been a fun season for me, but I get a
lot of compassion and sympathy for my “stuff.” People reach out to me, pray for
me, care for me, look out for me.
He gets worry and fear and anxiety.
He’s my caretaker, and he is magnificent at it. But I know
it’s also excruciating for him.
He leaves for work some days in agony, wondering if I’ll be
ok. He cancels appointments sometimes, because he knows I need him. I am his
When I tell him I’m sorry for all I put him through, he
always says, “Hey! It’s my job.” And he doesn’t mean job in the drudgingly
unwanted, wish-I-was-anywhere-but-here kind of way. He means that he is my
protector, my warrior king, and he doesn’t take that lightly and never will.
But not many people reach out to him. Sometimes we forget
the caretakers need us just as much as the ones being cared for.
You know where it says in Ephesians that husbands are to
love their wives like Christ loves the church? That’s a mighty tall order
indeed. But just as Jesus never walks away, or gets fed up and turns his back
on his bride, neither has my husband. He is a brilliant example of the living
and walking out of this verse. Along with the loving comes hardship and grief, but he never leaves me nor forsakes me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not comparing him to Jesus. I’m
just saying that he is really and truly following the instructions Jesus has
given husbands. To love their bride. Forever, for better or for worse.
He GETS IT in a way that lots of guys never do. There is
something so beautiful about being under the leadership and the protective arms
of a man that loves me like this. It is comforting, reassuring and makes me
feel safe. He is Jesus with skin on to me.
Maybe there’s someone you know who is a caretaker. Maybe
they need to be cared for themselves. Let’s notice and reach out to them as they look after the precious ones depending on their care.
For the love of this man, I am humbled and grateful and so
thankful, and I honestly don’t know where I would be without him. Honestly I
am still and forever his bride, in the truest sense of that word, and I pray
that I never take that for granted.
Til death do us part,